Thursday, August 23, 2007

Hello Hello

Alright so I haven't posted a blog since I was in Russia in April I think. Crazy. But I haven't had internet access since then either, so I guess I have an excuse. I decided to switch to blogger since it looked cooler, and I got tired of xanga.

I have a little more motivation to post now that these posts count as journal entries for my spiritual disciplines class. For those who don't know, I'm currently going through SIBI and working as an AIM assistant. It's been pretty sweet so far, though incredibly draining. I'm only taking 2 classes right now and I'm still freaking out anyway. Somehow I don't feel quite as lame if I call it "reverse culture shock", so I guess that excuse will work for now.

There's just enough guys to have 1 of them in every area church, so they've made me an area church leader at Dimmitt. I'm kind of uneasy about it right now... for some reason any amount of responsibility is making me feel really intimidated. I'm sure it will go away once I get used to things here, but it's just weird until I feel like I have a direction. I have some pretty cool AIMers, and I'm honestly looking forward to growing together with them.

I've gone through a lot over the last few months, and my journey with Christ has been hectic and awesome at the same time (as usual). During April and May I traveled with Johnathan and Amber to 13 different cities raising support and visiting family. Then I spent 2 months in Florida finishing up my AIM time where I got to meet some really cool people. I also got engaged there! That's been coming for a long while, though.

It's nice being around so many focused Christians now. It's like a double-edged sword, though. In one sense it's amazing because I have people around me who spur me on to live out the love of Christ by default of the fact that they're doing it themselves. But I also feel pretty intimidated right now being around so many mature Christians and sort of just feeling like a little kid. I've just moved here, and I'm kind of trying to figure out what I'm doing. In Russia I was somehow able to just look stupid and be ok with it, but I'm having more of a hard time with that here. I've been fighting back the desire to retreat into a shell and just stay home all the time.

I don't have a Friday class this term, which means tomorrow I get to sleep in for the first time in a while. I find myself missing what I did in Russia. I don't miss the country, but I miss the people. I guess it's just weird being in a place with so many Christians. It's easy to feel unneeded. When I feel unneeded it's really difficult to push myself to do anything. Dumb. But God's blessed me with some great friendships already, and I'm learning to be excited about the here and now... and that's amazing.


Merlin said...

Good to hear about your journey. I'm happy that everyhting has gone well.
I like your photos. I would like to get this kind of ring that you have on the first photo.Is it 'God, save us'?
Anyways keep us aware of your journey and have fun (as being a kid!)

Anonymous said...

Hi Josh! I'm so glad hearing from you! Sometimes being around Christians is demanding... But don't worry, He'll take care of everything, just stay in touch with Him. I miss people from Tomsk too... I think God's doing great things there. I hope to see you againg some day too! Say hi to the rest of the guys is you see them.

Anya Yaromenko

Phil said...

Yeah brother I've been missing Russia too lately. I miss the people greatly and also what we were doing there. I find myself realizing that we were right on the money with the homeless ministry and I see as I read through Luke that Jesus was all about those people. It's like an ongoing message I see throughout Luke. Don't be intimidated man, just take one thing at a time and be yourself and let God use you. It may sound a little cliche but I don't know if there is much more to it then that. I love you man, take it easy.

Manda said...

Hey, Joshwa...sure do miss you. I am glad to hear something from you, even if it's in the form of a blogger post. I hope that you are doing better this week. I am sure that you will be able to do lots of great things there in Lubbock.

I, too, feel like I am going through some sort of reverse culture shock... I miss Russia so much... it's weird how I miss it. I didn't think I would miss it at all... but here I am now, missing it more and more as each day passes. And I find myself in the same introvertedness as you are finding yourself. I am trying to fight against it, as well... but it's been worse lately...

I miss you, bro. I'll keep praying for you.