Alright so I haven't posted a blog since I was in Russia in April I think. Crazy. But I haven't had internet access since then either, so I guess I have an excuse. I decided to switch to blogger since it looked cooler, and I got tired of xanga.
I have a little more motivation to post now that these posts count as journal entries for my spiritual disciplines class. For those who don't know, I'm currently going through SIBI and working as an AIM assistant. It's been pretty sweet so far, though incredibly draining. I'm only taking 2 classes right now and I'm still freaking out anyway. Somehow I don't feel quite as lame if I call it "reverse culture shock", so I guess that excuse will work for now.
There's just enough guys to have 1 of them in every area church, so they've made me an area church leader at Dimmitt. I'm kind of uneasy about it right now... for some reason any amount of responsibility is making me feel really intimidated. I'm sure it will go away once I get used to things here, but it's just weird until I feel like I have a direction. I have some pretty cool AIMers, and I'm honestly looking forward to growing together with them.
I've gone through a lot over the last few months, and my journey with Christ has been hectic and awesome at the same time (as usual). During April and May I traveled with Johnathan and Amber to 13 different cities raising support and visiting family. Then I spent 2 months in Florida finishing up my AIM time where I got to meet some really cool people. I also got engaged there! That's been coming for a long while, though.
It's nice being around so many focused Christians now. It's like a double-edged sword, though. In one sense it's amazing because I have people around me who spur me on to live out the love of Christ by default of the fact that they're doing it themselves. But I also feel pretty intimidated right now being around so many mature Christians and sort of just feeling like a little kid. I've just moved here, and I'm kind of trying to figure out what I'm doing. In Russia I was somehow able to just look stupid and be ok with it, but I'm having more of a hard time with that here. I've been fighting back the desire to retreat into a shell and just stay home all the time.
I don't have a Friday class this term, which means tomorrow I get to sleep in for the first time in a while. I find myself missing what I did in Russia. I don't miss the country, but I miss the people. I guess it's just weird being in a place with so many Christians. It's easy to feel unneeded. When I feel unneeded it's really difficult to push myself to do anything. Dumb. But God's blessed me with some great friendships already, and I'm learning to be excited about the here and now... and that's amazing.
1 week ago